People Watching < Parent Watching

Today, I will be writing about parenting. The topic is something that is very important to me and I have a great desire to nurture and teach my children in the best way possible. As I am sure every other parent desires too.

The thing about parenting is that there are so many ways to go about doing it. They try to classify parenting into these four categories, authoritarian, authoritative, permissive, and uninvolved. As we dive into these categories none of them can really cover all that goes into parenting. I actually find it quite interesting to watch how people parent their children. I guess you could also say that I enjoy people-watching. 

I come from a family with seven kids and four of them are married with multiple kids each. In a way, each of my siblings chooses to parent their children differently. As I continue, in no way do I mean to throw any of them under the bus but more of analyzing what I have seen happen over the years.

My oldest brother and his wife chose a more authoritative outlook on raising their children. They have two boys so limits are a good idea. Something I love about this parenting style is how much involvement there is. They have deep conversations with their kids, they demand respect, and they support their kids in everything they do. Their kids don't know any different other than how they see other kids are allowed to do things they aren't. This can be challenging but as a good parent, my brother or his wife will sit down with that kid and explain why the rule is there. The cool thing about this is I have seen the maturity rise out of one of my nephews. He is more of an old soul like myself and although he is still a teenager he understands why sometimes he doesn't get what he wants. 

Another one of my siblings tried the authoritarian style with their kids. Her husband grew up with divorced parents for a good chunk of his life. He saw how one way worked better than the other so he wanted to do that with his own kids.

This is going to go off-topic for a second, but this is important. When you marry someone and have children you will have both been raised in different homes with different rules. You will have to find common ground or start with fresh new ideas in raising your children together. It is nearly impossible for a child to be raised with two very different parenting styles.

Back to the case of my sister and her husband. My sister was more of the passive authoritative style, while her husband was more on the end of the authoritarian style of parenting. This was a difficult time for them as they were having to teach their little boy. Over time, they adjusted and came together on a better parenting style and are now working side by side in raising their three cute children.

I think we can all imagine what uninvolved parenting looks like and when I do imagine it or see it, it breaks my heart. Kids need and deserve attention from their parents. It's in these cases that I wish I could do something to help those children.

The last parenting style I would like to give an example of is permissive. I grew up in a home with permissive parents. Yes, there were "rules" but were there such consequences for these rules... no not really. If you ask my oldest siblings they might say otherwise. However, for me, discipline was a disappointing look and that was enough to send me away in shame and guilt. This worked on me and I think I turned out okay, but as I look to the future I know with my kids I will need to apply more limits with consequences. There are several great articles on parenting that describe how parents must grow up and take charge of the family. I found these to be so insightful and knowledge that is very much needed in our world today. Go do some of your own research and comment below what you find!